Effort and Non-attachment

Although the yogic ideals of abhyasa (effort) and vairagya (non-attachment) seem to be opposing concepts, I think about both of these at the same time when it comes to parenting as well as practicing yoga. A mom and yogi I admire, Kelley Carboni-Woods, says that “motherhood is a practice,” and this really resonates with me. I am constantly trying to be the best mother I can be, as I am fully devoted to my children. However, sometimes I fall short of my idea of “the perfect mom” and don’t always address issues with my kids they way I wish I had. I’m trying to be gentle with myself, though, and let go of my idea of the perfect mother and feel good for trying my best. Nothing will teach you non-attachment like having kids. I always have to change my plan at the last minute because someone is cranky, hungry, had a giant diaper blowout, or a myriad of other things that can go wrong during the day when you have small children. I always sincerely try with my kids, but I can’t be too attached to the outcome. In the short term, I know I may have to abandon my plans on any given day or apologize later for snapping at my son, and in the long term, I know that I can’t become too attached to my ideas for who they’ll be in the future. They’re going to become their own people, and I have only so much of a say. I’m learning to let go a little bit at a time.